ITS NOT CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU

   I find it fitting that Christmas has come around at the same time that I am sharing my story with you. If it were not for every aspect of this season, I would not have a story to tell. So while this blog may stray away from my story line about success and failure in music, it should also fill you in on a very big part of my life......FAITH!


   I remember waking up as a kid to open all of the presents that Santa brought me. Santa was so busy in fact that on Christmas, he ran out of wrapping paper by the time he got to my house and just left the presents un-wrapped all over the living room! I didn't mind.....after all, it was much easier to get to all f my favorite toys without having to deal with wrapping paper!! My mother and I lived in a small apartment with very limited amenities, including the lack of a fire place. I always wondered of Santa was real because I had presents every year but he had no chimney to climb down. It was when I was eight or so that mom told me about giving Santa a key to the front door! I am so glad she told me that.....I almost started having doubts about whether he existed! I always tried to take a peek at Santa, and on may occasions, found Mom eating his cookies and Milk....I am surprised that he kept coming back. Regardless, Christmas was always a time that I knew I would get many of the things that I had asked for during the year.....providing that I was being a good boy!


   While presents were a big part of my Christmas, my mom always made sure to point out that it wasn't about that. We always made our way to church for Christmas Eve service, and heard the story about Jesus' birth. I can remember every detail of the manger scene.....and even tho I am still not positive  what "swaddling" means, I can picture in my head what that looked like to! It was clear to me at an early age, that Christmas was a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and what that meant to all of us.  I will admit.....I had moments where that didn't matter. I remember one year, mom let me open ONE present a day early. I looked all through the tree for the heaviest, biggest, and most fun looking present I could find. Pulling it from the tree, I found myself looking at a large picture bible! I did what any young church going kid would do..........CRIED LIKE A BABY. I wanted my Castle Grey Skull equipped with a real draw bridge......or even better......my Garbage Pail Kids trading cards!!! Looking back on that, I realize that we seem to do that still today. The greatest gift we could ever receive is Jesus, and while that should be all we look to in life, the other "Toys" are what we look forward to.


   "Toys" change as we grow older. The biggest and most expensive gift can't begin to eclipse the love that God has for all of us. If we REALLY felt that way, I believe that Christmas would be a time of great reflection, repentance, and celebration! My story would not be able to be told if it wasn't for the love of God. The birth of Christ is why I am able to do the things I do in life. It's why I can put my faith into things that others can't see. Most importantly......his birth, life, death, and resurrection is the driving force behind my faith. Not just faith in God and Heaven.....but faith that through God, all things are possible. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" is a testament to what Christmas means to me. 

• It is why I am at ease when I think about my future in music, even when people turn their backs on me.
•  It is the reason that I am not concerned when people try to harm me and my career. 
• It is how I get through days, months, and now years of waiting for another chance to move forward in an industry that  can be wonderful yet sometimes very cruel. 

   I told you that this part wouldn't focus on the story of my music career but as I continue to share, you will see why this part is so important to me. I have had a lot of things change in the past few years of my life. A lot of people that seemed to have good intentions were obviously great at disguising the fact that they had no intentions other than to serve themselves. I will be sharing with you EVERYTHING that they did and are continuing to do in an attempt to make sure that I do not make it in the business. I am sure that as some of them read this very blog, they will not hesitate to send vulgar and rude emails and messages......attempting to blame any of my failures and short comings in my career on me. I will continue to share my story with you and let you decide who can be credited for that. I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. I make mistakes daily, but I can promise you that when it comes to music, I give it my heart and soul (Sometimes more than I should). The biggest mistake that I have made so far in my career is using Philippians 4:13  substituting "Him" for a person, a job, and a LABEL. 


   It is my prayer that you all have a blessed Christmas! Receive more gifts than ever before, eat all the food you can and not gain a pound,  and start 2012 with a new lease on life! Don't forget who made it all possible and thank God daily for the true meaning of CHRISTMAS!!!