I remember watching that show growing up! I always thought it was strange that she looked like she was 40 in the face and 75 in the waist.....but it made for some good TV! I am sitting in the hospital room as we speak, waiting on them to take my mom back for surgery. She has a blocked intestine and although I have never had that happen to me, I can only imagine how much it hurts. She said it was worse than child birth (ME)! My "momma's family" consists of myself...well...and her dog Max.
Mom raised me all by herself, and at her own stress/expense, made sure that I always had everything I needed. I remember a period of time where mom would go teach school, leave to pick me up from school, drop me off at grandma's, and head to her second job. I just thought that was what parents did. It was years later that I found out that she did it to make sure I had everything the "rich" kids had! I didn't have to worry about clothes, food, or shelter. I got a car when I turned 16, had all of the coolest video games, and I even had Nike's (when that was a big deal). I never for one second thought about the fact that it was due to the extra work that my mom did. If I had known what she was giving up to make sure I had things, I would have never wanted her to do it. I would not have enjoyed the clothes that I wore or the car that I drove. Although I would never have wanted her to do any of that for me, she taught me a very valuable lesson.
When you give people things, the motive is what drives you! If you truly want to help someone, you don't ask for things in return. You don't hold it over their heads like they owe you something in return. The deed becomes an after thought. Your motive is to see that person be blessed and not feel like they needed to do anything to deserve it. When the motive is self gratification, there is usually more harm done than good. It causes relationships to crash, bridges to burn, and un necessary problems that could have been avoided easily if the deed had never been done.
I have been playing music a lot the past few years. Mostly to make sure that I want to do this. I have traveled many miles, played for very few people at a time, and made very little! A few years ago, I was traveling back and forth to the Carolinas from Nashville playing shows. You may not realize this but if you live in Nashville, you never want to play there. You can never make money because people are willing to play for free. I would make more in a weekend in the Carolinas than I would in three months in TN! While this helped me pay bills, it was a stress on my car!!! I had a Ford Expedition that my mother had paid for (go figure) and it was on its last few breaths when the engine blew. I was pretty upset about it since I needed it for transportation but I was not going to mention it to mom. I had realized by then, how much mom had done for me over her means, so I didn't want her to try and do the same thing again. I was at the time, signed to a record deal, and I wanted to make sure I was staying on the road to make them happy and hopefully set myself up for a long career that would them and myself money! Finding out what happened to my car, someone from the label (for now I will call him Jake), said he wanted to give me something. To my surprise, it was a car. Not just any junky old.....it was a just like new Chevy Tahoe. He then proceeded to hand me a large handful of money. Asking what it was for, he told me that he had to sell the car for tax reasons. The amount of money paid for the car, and gas back to Nashville. I was beyond words of gratitude. I felt so relieved that I would be able to continue traveling and playing music, and that my mom wouldn't have to go to bat for me like she has always had to do. Driving back to TN in my new car, thinking "there are actually more people like my mom in the world".
Its interesting to see how time brings all things to pass. Since then, my label has closed, my relationship with "Jake" has deteriorated, and I have been reminded more times than you want to read on a blog about the car being given to me. The exact quote was
"In fact, I think you still owe me $500 for that $15,000 Tahoe I GAVE your ungrateful ass"
(pardon the bad word)
GAVE.......when you give something to someone, can it really be for sell? Can you give them something but never let you forget that they are the ones who made it happen? That sounds more like a sale, a discount, or at least a lease!
My mom GAVE me everything. She never held it over my head.....in fact.....if she had known how, she would have done it all without me ever knowing where it came from. She has never asked me for anything in return for what she provided for me. That's what real giving is. The rest is motive wrapped up in even more motive. I attribute a lot of mom's problems she is having now to all of the giving that she did for me (30 years of it). I can't help to have a heavy heart as I watch her sit in this bed waiting for possible life threatening surgery. It even makes me feel like an "ungrateful ass" at times! But mom doesn't see it that way. She wouldn't trade a day of what she did for me and I only hope that I have the future years to show her how grateful I really am! No amount of money in a persons bank account, free cars, career, or person will ever show me how to give more than the woman that is laying in this bed!
If you get a chance, go leave my mom a get better comment on her facebook page!
As more people that mom has given to come into the room to visit, its getting to full to type! Have a blessed New Year!!
Young man, your stories are so inspirational! I don't know you, but my nephew (A. Whitt) mentioned on facebook that he was listening to you and the next thing I know...here I am. I hope your mom is well now. Blessings to you and her!
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